i know you're out there
you're lanterns on lakes
what keeps me going? what is my drive? it's you. a lot of people would say living for love, or being in a relationship, is bad. and they're right in a sense. i think it's unhealthy to sit and wait for some magical angel to come down and save you, wrapped in the loincloth of some beautiful messiah-like concept of the perfect woman. i'm waiting for you. yes, you. you know who you are. i'll probably show you this piece at some point.
i lie in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, thinking about you. what's your favourite nail polish colour? are you really bad at minecraft? would you let me bite your lip?
i sit at a concert watching the light sparkle through the stained glass ornaments on the ceiling. do you know how to drive? how beautiful you must look when the glow of my lights fall on the side of your cheek. do you hate dark chocolate? do you hate how it feels when my feet brush past yours in my sleep? what's your favourite noise to make?
i wonder, do you think of me? have we already crossed paths, even insignificantly? did i sit next to you on the bus once? are you alone or happy right now? are you even in the country? all these questions give me life. i can't wait to know you. i can't wait to know the moment i walk up to you for the first time. i can't wait to feel your embrace. to feel your chest fall while i lie on it. to know what makes you squeamish. your weirdest interests. your first love. your greatest pain. your best friend in highschool
but most important of all, are you like me? what kind of love takes this long? if only i could look into the future and see a glimpse of us together. but i know you can't spoil the ending.
i will be brave when you wake. i will fight tooth and nail to reach you, and know that you feel it as soon as we sit together. you won't save me, and i won't save you. that's not what either of us need nor want. but it'll be right.
i know you're out there