sometimes a person cannot help what they do
you mumble, "get up"
i know it hurts. i know it keeps happening. i know you keep becoming far too close with the exact kinds of people you wanted to run from. i know they hide in plain sight. i know it feels like you could never trust again, that the risk is far too high. but come on, get up.
it hurts more than you know. it will keep hurting for a while. you want to escape. you wish these people were as strong-willed and focused on the self as you are, rather than on you. you feel like some sort of black hole where love goes to die, pulling everything in until they reach your heart and drive a knife in. but you're better. you've always been better than that. it hurts how much you believed this was the good part. but you're here. come on, get up.
i know you keep trying. i know it never seems to work. i know you thought it was going to end for once. i know how loud it is. how much your ears are ringing. how much you resent this tiny slice of the world you keep being shoved into like a locker.
but come on, get up