every day, i'm faced with a seemingly insurmountable wall of noise as tall as god. every voice you can imagine. every image. every possible thought. every doubt. delusion. it's something we've had to face every day since birth, but has grown the most this year. i find this is what most 'sane' people do not understand about schizophrenia. the constant unrelenting assault of every possible sound anyone could ever make in any given situation.
every day recently, i'm faced with a seemingly unstoppable fire in my heart. consumed by white-hot flames that stop at nothing to be completely debilitating to us in the form of slow-burn panic attacks that paralyze the body. even if we go out. even if we're with people. it takes you away. forced to watch someone else do the talking while you retreat to a humiliating position of absolute defeat. curled up in a ball in the crucifix of the soul, begging to be saved.
times heals all wounds, but you keep picking at my scabs. does anyone really look at a burn victim the same as before?